Kai - the little man who changed our lives forever

The day I found out I was pregnant, I wasn't shocked. Somehow, I was already sure. Call it women's intuition, call it anything else. I just knew. I had been to the doctor and he said none of the tests confirmed pregnancy. But, I still knew something was different. He scheduled me to return in three weeks.

Jason and I bought several tests on our own in between appointments and decided to see what we could learn on our own. The lines were faint, but we knew: we were pregnant! We had a digital test too and that one came without question: PREGNANT. It's strange: you never know how you will react until you are in the moment. Jason was cool as a cucumber and I was at peace. I immediately started checking out my stomach to see if anything had changed.

The next nine months went by in a hurry and took forever at the same time. I could not wait to meet my son. I never had any brothers growing up and I thought it would be great to have more boys around. That's another thing: I knew we were going to have a boy from the start. Don't ask me how because I don't have an explanation.

We consider ourselves pretty mature and responsible people, but nothing truly prepares you for being a parent or the ways in which your lives change forever. I was scared to be so far away from family and worried that I wouldn't do a good job. Somehow, it all just started coming to me in the hospital. I knew what to do most of the time and I knew what Kai needed before he did. The bonding has been a slow process, which was not something either of us expected. I thought that I would be immediately attached and love mybaby beyond measure, but it just didn't happen that way.

Today, I am healthier, happier and more secure in motherhood. Jason is getting the hang of the diaper changing, feeding schedule, different cries, etc. I was always jealous of how close he and Kai were from the start, but I am so glad that my husband and son are buddies.

My baby Kai is the highlight of my days and the sunshine in my life. I would do anything to protect him and I love him more every day. There are frustrating times, but I get through them by laughing with my son and remembering that "like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives"....